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I wanted to at first, but I think that's because the immediate response to being hurt is to want to hurt the source of pain in return, but that would just add to the list of people that are hurting. I'm not going to ever say anything bad about you to our mutual friends. I'm not going to post here again. I'm not going to hold anger or resentment toward you, or be bitter. I am going to take a while to get over this. I am going to have trouble sleeping for a while, because whenever I'm left with just my thoughts, you seem to be the bulk of them. I am going to attempt to move on. I am going to be dating, and not making an effort to hide it. I am going to start looking at women as an actual possibility, as opposed to the last few years where they've only been something to keep me less depressed in the intervals between "us", and none of them had a chance because I was waiting for you. I am always going to love you. When we first broke up, you asked me if you were leaving me in better shape than when we got together. In a practical sense, I'd have to say no. I took a year off to move to you. I got ridicule from everyone that cared about me for wanting to be with you after everything that happened (I would always tell them that I didn't care if the chances of us working out were slim with our past, I loved you enough that it was worth trying again). I failed a semester of because I couldn't get over the depression of you moving on so20175 girl fuck quickly, Dating girls from Boulder Colorado which ultimately resulted in me having to take another year off . And I now have trust and abandonment issues. I know this sounds like I'm laying my issues at your feet, but please understand I'm not blaming you for any of this. I was there too. I chose to move. I chose to stay with you after we had broken up even though I knew you were still seeing and talking to s. I chose to pursue you while you were in a relationship. I chose to let you into my life, bed, and heart, even though I knew the chances of you coming back into my life in a significant way were slim to nonexistent. So in a practical sense, no I'm not in better shape than before. In a more meaningful and long lasting sense though, I am in better shape. You changed me as a person, and I'm not sure you know that. I know what it feels like to love someone enough that just knowing they love you back is enough to brighten your perspective on life, and change the way you interact with the world. I now know what it feels like to be certain what you want the rest of my life to look like. You brought something beautiful into my life. If I live the rest of my life as as I am at this moment, the brightness that you brought into my life will still outshine the sadness. I want so badly to hold onto hope for us. You know when you're arguing with a conservative or fanatic and you want to just place your point of view in their head so they'll see reason? That's how I feel with you. I want to take my thoughts and feelings, the surety, the knowledge of the minor changes we could've made to make things work, the unrelenting passion and dedication I've carried with me for the past years. I want to take all of that and put it into your heart. I know with an unrealistic certainty that if you could see into my heart and mind, even for a moment, that you'd come back to me and we'd make it work and live happily for the rest of our lives. But that's where I've been for the last years. It's time to leave this place. I need to go back to living my life for me, like I was starting to do before we got together. I need to be emotionally , and self reliant. I was so hopeful that not letting you go would lead to the future I wanted. And now, even though I have fleeting thoughts that I don't have to let this be the end, I need to let it. I need to make sure that if I can't have the future I want with you, that I get the future I deserve. When you used to ask me why I loved you, you'd tell me that you were fucked up in this way or that way. You'd list off your faults, and I'd tell you that I was fucked up too, and that it didn't matter if you weren't perfect, because we were perfect for each other. But that's bullshit. You should know that you're an incredible human being. The faults you on are minor, but since dwelling on negative is xxx of your faults, you magnify them in your mind. You're intelligent, driven, witty, interesting, romantic, and thoughtful. There is no success in this life that you couldn't if you tried. Your life is going to be a good life, just by virtue of being you. 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